How do you measure a year?

Rent Cast - Seasons Of Love Lyrics

COMPANY
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

COMPANY
It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love

Love, I have determined, is really the meaning of life. But, it is not always that simple. Love is complicated and painful. Love is easy and joyful. Love is. People have died for love. People have lived for love. People have killed for love. People have created life for love.

Love is tricky, though. Because generally, you can choose who you are with, you cannot choose whom you love. Life is a never-ending, overlapping, and geometrical connection from me to you to her to him to him to her to you to me. Love is rarely as simple as I love you and you love me. Usually, it is much more than that.

This is the part that makes life interesting and worthwhile. How much do you love? How much do I love? How far would you go for love? How far would I go? Would you move across the world for love? Would you change your job for love? Would you leave your family for love? Would you sell all you own for love? Would you kill for love? Would you die for love? Would you lie, cheat, and steal for love? Would you give up sex for love?

As much as I would like to think I would do anything for love, maybe I won't do that, whatever that that entails. Should we all just love the one we're with since we cannot be with the one we love? With love, there comes a breaking point. How far can you bend until you break?

The Dead of Winter

Winter is associated with cold and darkness. During winter, plants die, birds fly south, and bears hibernate. However, when Spring rolls around things literally burst and bloom back to life. Like Nature, human lives are often times intertwined with the symbolism of Winter and Spring.

My life lately has truly seen this. In early November, my 96 year-old great-grandmother Lillian passed away after a long,hard body and mind destroying battle with Alzheimer's and, as we later found out, cancer. Just a few weeks later, my 18 year-old cousin Jenny announced to her family, which worked its way through the grapevine, that she is pregnant. So within a month, my family has gone from death to life, sadness to happiness.

My job cut my hours down, which has given me some additional financial hardships. But, also, it gave me the opportunity to go home and be with my family for Christmas. Surprisingly, Christmas was normal. For once, my family (specifically my parents) and I did not fight about my sexuality. Although I believe it has more to do with a "don't ask, don't tell" denial mentality rather than actual acceptance, it nonetheless, was nice to be a part of the family again.

My friendships with some of my closest friends have seemingly ceased to exist because of romantic relationships, distance, and just generally a change in life priorities. At the same time, though, there has been greater closeness with some people from work and other places.

So, it seems that like me, maybe humanity as a whole works this way. Maybe we need the hard, lonely, sad, dark, and utterly depressing times to get to and appreciate the easy, joyful, loving, light, and happy things in life. I mean, what would be
the point of life otherwise? Some things I think are random and don't happen because of any reasoning. But, aren't some things fated? Destined? Planned?

Then again, why do bad things happen to good people? Why children die before their parents? Why does someone who never smoked a day in their life get lung cancer? Why do people who commit tax fraud and swindle millions upon millions out of their employees get a slap on the wrist, while the same swindled employees get hard time in jail for stealing for their families? Why are good, loving people alone and single? Why?

Perhaps, there are no answers. People are born. die. get cancer. don't get sick. laugh. cry. rich. poor. loved. unloved. People just are.

However, a part of me, the optimistic in me, sometimes wishes life was more like one of those choose your own adventure books. I feel like I've made some incredible mistakes in my past and if I could I would go back and change things. But, then I remember, my mistakes, my lonely Winter, makes me stronger and brings me to that Spring, that glorious Spring, full of child-like wonder and love. So, I just need to remind myself, that I am worth it; I will get through this Winter (with money worries, family issues, and a sad heart) to my Spring. It is out there waiting for me!

So, what do you think? Are you currently in your Winter? or Spring? comments? questions? Leave 'em below! :)