"begin" 06.24.08
where to begin?
perhaps the beginning
rain pouring
driving fast
darkness around
looking at you
and just suddenly knowing
like a bolt of lightning
through me,
entirely changing me
forever
and of
us laughing
us
flash foward
like a flood
to us
no longer us
but were we ever "us"?
we could've been
if you could
only let yourself
feel
what i
feel
i know it's true
because i'm never sure
but this time
i am
so how then
can something i'm so decisive about
be
completely and utterly
wrong?
it's not wrong
in any sense
you try tell me that it all
meant nothing to you
like i'm nothing but
another conquest
to make me feel
ashamed
but you know what?
i'm not
if i could it all over again
i would still
love you
madly, deeply, completely,
head over heels
i've already admitted
that i won't find anything
like what could've been
i am confident
but
you are not
and actions
speak louder
than words
than the lies you tell me,
try to make me believe
because you're
running,
running from me
into men,
poor substitutions
of me,
trying to prove that you're
not who i know you are
and who i am, too
searching, hiding
denying,
what's real
what's true
you may come close,
but nothing will ever
compare,
nothing will be the
same
to what could've been
so you and i should
just
go back and
begin
but this time
together.
"I forget" 06.07.08 at 3am
I'm drunk.
I will forget tonight.
drinking too many tasty concoctions.
the sweaty, sexy dancing.
talking too loud and too fast.
the money I spent.
But, I wish
I could forget you.
your sweet, sugary lips.
your soft, silky skin.
The way your eyes twinkle
when you think of anyone
but me.
that there's nobody I'd
rather fight with.
that you always push me
to be greater than
I am.
that you've changed me
forever.
But most of all,
I wish
I could forget that
I love you.
I'm drunk on you.
"I would" 04.16.08
I would lasso the moon for you.
I would hold you tenderly in my warm arms.
I would gather all the stars from the great black abyss for you.
I would kiss your sweet lips over and over.
I would walk the world for you.
I would hold your hair back for you when you were sick.
I would give you all of me- my beating heart, my passionate soul, my soft body, everything.
I would give you all of these things, and so much more.
But, I know that the only thing that matters, true happiness, I could never give you.
And, the only thing that I really want from you, all of your heart, I could never get.
So, I would live a lonely lifetime without you.
"Imagine" 04.12.08
I imagine our tongues intertwine
like juicy red vines.
I imagine my hand caressing your
sweet body until you soar.
I imagine my lips tracing the words
"I love you" until I'm cured.
I imagine you loving me, too
in a way that's so true.
I imagine the rain
covering all my pain.
I imagine no more tears
and being with you for years.
You say it's not me, but I don't believe you.
So, I just imagine.
"Freaking Out"
I watch you sleep, wondering if you're dreaming of me.
It freaks you out.
I look longingly into your eyes, as though my passion will pierce your soul.
It freaks you out.
I want to romance and woo you, to prove to you that your worth it.
It freaks you out.
I am perfectly content just laying there, holding you in my arms, to protect you, to cherish you, to keep you and never let you go, to just be and forget the rush and worry of the world.
It freaks you out.
I freak you out.
"A Moment"
A sweet sugary scent seduces me,
again
and
again.
There is an earlier time.
When I gently brushed
your silky hair out of your face,
placing the delicate strands behind your ear.
I stopped to touch your soft cheeks,
my fingers tracing small circles.
Like a child ice skating,
I was afraid of slipping and hurting myself.
Then, your eyes looked into mine.
I was captivated and comforted.
Time stopped.
Wet and warm,
electricity exchanged as our lips met.
Quickly and quietly,
it
ended.
“Versus”
You think that I'm naïve. Maybe I am. But, maybe you are too cynical.
You think that I'm too fricking chipper. Maybe I am. But, maybe you are too sad.
You think that I'm unrestrained at times. Maybe I am. But, maybe you are too afraid to be free.
You think that I'm seeing you in an unrealistic way. Maybe I am. But, maybe I just don't talk about the negative things.
You think that I'm being used by you. Maybe I am. But, maybe I give you things that I've always really wanted to.
You think that I'm hopelessly trying. Maybe I am. But, maybe you should look deep inside and really try.
You think that I'm not what you want. Maybe I am. But, maybe I'm just what you need.
“Sweet Dreams are Made of These”
Your lines of a haiku
waft
through
the air,
suddenly jolting my soul.
I remember moments
of uncensored passion.
Of tumbling and touching and tenderness.
Of innocence and intrigue.
Of wonder and warmth.
Why do these times seem as though
they were just dreams?
You wanted me then,
but now you just
want
me
to
go.
"You"
Like a moth to a flaming fire, your ruby lips beckon me.
Like the seven sparkling seas, I get lost in your eyes.
Your hips hypnotize me the way they sway.
You come close enough for me to take you in, and I remember your gentle touch.
Your shiny smile warms my lonely life.
Like rivers of smoothly melted chocolate, your silky hair flows gently down your back.
Like satin sheets, your soft skin brushes mine ever so slightly, making me want to be wrapped up and tangled in you.
Like a great work of art, you leave me in breathless awe.
"Once" 09.16.07
Once you looked at me,
I knew.
Once you touched me,
I flew.
Once you laughed,
I melted.
Once our minds crossed,
I felt it.
Once you kiss me,
you'll know.
Once you open up,
you'll flow.
Once you let it happen,
you'll fall.
Once you see me differently,
you'll call.
"Strange" 09.15.07
Life is strange
because it turns out
how I expect
Love is strange
because it never comes
when I want.
Friendship is strange
because it never seems
to last forever.
Family is strange
because it never chose me;
I chose.
You are strange
because you never see me
that way.
I am strange
because I care for you
when I shouldn't.
"Jesus and Me" 02.12.07
I fall.
Tears fall.
Blood's shed.
He rises.
I rise
and live.
"More Than Her" (a song) 02.05.07
What's the big deal?
Why is everyone so crazy
about her?
Who's idea was it?
How come she is everywhere you look?
Why is there no escape?
I want something more than her.
She has her nails down everyone's back,
all over the world,
since the dawn of man.
She is lustful
causing so much confusion.
I want something more than her.
I've had enough of this captivation.
I want a different motivation
for life.
I need a change.
Don't you?
I want something more than her.
Chorus:
More than lies,
More than pain.
Something truer,
Something greater,
Something we were created for.
I want something more than her.
"Maybe" (a song) 02.05.07
Maybe love is over-rated.
Or maybe you're just
Lonely.
Maybe crying is for the weak.
Or maybe you're just
Tired of smiling through the pain.
Maybe oh maybe
Maybe the world is out of control
Or maybe you're just
Afraid.
Maybe life is just a joke.
Or maybe you're just
Not living.
Maybe oh maybe
Chourus:
But, maybe,
Just maybe,
There's a better way.
And that there's hope
For you
And me
And everyone.
All you gotta do is believe.
"Pas vous? (Won't You?)" 11.05.06
Votre sourire fond (your smile melts)
un coeur glacial (an icy heart)
comme (like)
chaleur du soleil. (heat from the sun)
Ne sourirez-vous pas à moi ? (won't you smile at me?)
Vos yeux sont (your eyes are)
profonds et mystérieux (deep and mysterious)
comme (like)
l'océan. (the ocean)
Ne regarderez-vous pas dans le mien ? (won't you look into mine?)
Vos bras s'étendent (your arms streach)
autour de moi (around me)
comme (like)
couverture chaude. (a warm blanket)
Ne me toucherez-vous pas ? (won't you touch me?)
Vos lèvres m'appellent, (your lips call me)
dodus et juteux (plump and wet)
comme (like)
pomme rouge. (a red apple)
Ne m'embrasserez-vous pas ? (won't you kiss me?)
Vous êtes quelqu'un (you are someone)
de que j'ai (who I)
besoin et veux. (need and want)
Ne me désirez-vous pas aussi ? (Don't you desire me, too?)
"My Soul Aches" 09.29.06
In my life,
there's so much strife.
This cross I'm bearin'
is greatly tearin'
me up inside
and I sit and cry,
because...
Chorus:
My soul aches
to see Your face.
Life seems to take
such a slow pace
until I can
see You,
the greatest Man
the world ever knew.
At night, I pray
and You say,
"Come here, my child,
sit and be mild.
You're lookin' for a sign?
Just know you're mine!"
because...
Repeat chorus
So, now I feel safe and sound
that my ant hill isn't a giant mound
of unbearable sadness and pain.
Instead, Your kindness I gain.
I must make the most of
this life and Your unending love,
because...
Repeat Chorus 2X
My soul no longer aches
to see Your face.
Life seems to take
such a fast pace
until I can
see wonderful You,
the greatest Man
I ever knew.
"Just You" 03.16.06
I walk down the long, quiet street.
No one is here with me
but You.
I feel the cool, calming breeze
that's you.
Chorus: Others may try to explain this mess
of a world around me.
They think that I make no sense,
that I'm crazy.
But, I know that it's true;
it's just you.
I sit and look at the bright stars
away from the city lights, cars, and bars
with You.
I ponder life with the love and safety of the moon
that's you.
Repeat Chorus
When I'm running with
tears streaming down my face, I've
already won the race
because of You.
People may say it's just the rain,
but I know
that it's you.
Repeat Chorus 2X
